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Today is July 18 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you learn lessons from history?” Navigating the chaos requires one to recognize forward progress is dependent upon a bias towards action, an indefatigable spirit, and a willingness to travel outside of their comfort zone. These three characteristics allow individuals the ability to view their past actions and extract valuable lessons. Since reflection is involved, however, it is important to note two distinct yet related dynamics. First, do not get stuck in the past during your reflection as doing so will cause you to miss the present. Second, the lessons you learn from reflection are yours and yours alone. It is up to you to reflect and engage with the past in order to actively learn from it. But then it is time to move on. Failing to recognize these two dynamics jeopardizes your ability to navigate the chaos and practice the art of living well. Author Aldous Huxley noted “That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.” Huxley’s point is well take in that it reminds us of three imperatives: a)history has tremendous potential in what it can teach, b)people fail to learn from history, and c)the greatest lesson of history is that people fail to learn from history. A similar quote is attributed to writer and philosopher George Santayana "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." An extension of these observations on the failure of remembering history is the oft quoted definition of insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.” What is interesting about the insanity quote is that it is misattributed to Albert Einstein. There appears to be no evidence to suggest Einstein ever articulated a definition of insanity. According to the web site Quote Investigator, there were three variations on this theme published in 1981. The first iteration came from Jessie Potter, the featured speaker at the 1981 Woman to Woman conference focused on education and family relationships, who said “If you always do what you’ve always done, you always get what you’ve always gotten.” The second iteration came from an anonymous attended of an Al-Anon meeting who said during the group session “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” And the third iteration came from a November 1981 pamphlet from Narcotics Anonymous “Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results.” Best-selling author Veronica Chambers learned from her history and in so doing reclaimed her self-esteem and unlocked a world of possibility. In a January 20, 2020, New York Times article, Chambers details how she quit working at a magazine and for a woman who would never respect her. “Once upon a time, I worked at a magazine, reporting to a white woman who, early in our working relationship, told me that she didn’t consider me a threat because ‘a black woman will never have this job.’ She then proceeded to use every one of my ideas to completely redesign the magazine we worked for. It was the end of a moment in publishing when such a thing as a “big magazine job” still existed. I hung on because I really wanted to be an editor in chief one day and knew that quitting would take me out of the game.” But after spending one amazing day at the beach with her family, Chambers knew it was time to quit. As she wrote in her piece: “What came next was that I wrote four New York Times best sellers. I won two James Beard awards. I had a novel optioned by a producer I had long admired. I taught at Stanford University and Smith College. I was able to carve out an extraordinary amount of time to spend with my poor daughter who had started kindergarten sleep deprived and with a slight bellyache from me shoving fries down her throat in a moving car and calling it dinner. I did not want to just quit my job, I wanted to make a better life for myself. That came with a lot of hard work, and even overworking myself, but I did it for myself and on my own terms.” Chambers came to realize that she was failing to learn from the lessons of history, doing the same thing and getting what she always did, and doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. She could have stayed at the magazine and tried to wait until she was anointed editor-in-chief. But like so many people that navigate the chaos, she came to realize that her editor-in-chief goal eventually took a back seat to a new and more prominent one of making a better life for herself. Today’s question challenges you to examine your current life situation and honestly assess if you are doing the same thing today that you did last month or last year and expecting different results. Those who navigate the chaos can answer that question honestly and without hesitation. For others, however, doing so is too painful so they convince themselves things are indeed different and better when the opposite is true. How you answer determines your ability to translate your dreams into reality so be careful and look at your current life situation and ask if you are learning lessons from history. How often do you learn from the lessons of history? How often do you find yourself doing the same thing over and over expecting different results? Who or what is preventing you from learning from the lessons of history? Have you ever helped anyone learn lessons from their past? Who has helped you learn lessons from your past?

Today is July 17 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you remind yourself hope begins in the dark?” While you are leveraging your mind, body, and spirit to navigate the chaos of life and translate one dream after another into reality, it is inevitable your path will turn dark. When the path gets so dark it is important to ask yourself today’s question and reflect upon how often you remind yourself that hope begins in the dark. The death of a parent. The compound loss of two people you love in a brief period of time. Being laid off from a job through no fault of your own. The loss of a friendship. The inability to help someone who then commits suicide. The helplessness associated with watching a loved one die of an incurable disease. The frustration over a car accident. The inability to make sense out of the sudden death of a friend. The darkness we feel when a serious illness impacts our own health. Darkness comes in many forms. And darkness happens to everyone at some point. There is no escaping it. Sometimes we can see the darkness out in the distance. The clouds on the horizon serve as a warning sign to seek shelter. Other times the darkness creeps up on us when we least expect it. The darkness blinds us, paralyzes us, and holds us prisoner. The darkness, if you let it, will consume you. Those who have navigated the chaos understand the darkness. They do not welcome it, they do not invite it in, but they also do not dwell there. They accept the darkness as a temporary condition and understand that hope begins there. Emily Elizabeth Dickinson’s poem “We grow accustomed to the Dark” was written in the early 1860s and serves as an excellent point of reflection for today’s question. The entirety of the poem is: We grow accustomed to the Dark - When light is put away - As when the Neighbor holds the Lamp To witness her Goodbye - A Moment - We uncertain step For newness of the night - Then - fit our Vision to the Dark - And meet the Road - erect - And so of larger - Darknesses - Those Evenings of the Brain - When not a Moon disclose a sign - Or Star - come out - within - The Bravest - grope a little - And sometimes hit a Tree Directly in the Forehead - But as they learn to see - Either the Darkness alters - Or something in the sight Adjusts itself to Midnight - And Life steps almost straight. The poem comprises of five short stanzas, throughout which Dickinson walks through the dark and assures the reader that their eyes will eventually adjust to the darkness. Initially, it feels like stumbling outside into the night after being indoors; it can surely be scary and can take a while to be able to move around confidently without falling. But eventually, our eyes get used to the darkness and then walking around is no more an issue. Dickinson, however, goes on to say, some darker nights, especially those of the mind, require a little more than time. She explains herself by saying that the bravest goes forth in the darkness, sometimes walking into an obstacle like a tree. But despite the obstacles and circumstances, those who venture out into the darkest of nights, will eventually be able to make it to the road to find their way. Although she was from a prominent family with strong ties to its community, Dickinson lived much of her life in reclusive isolation. Her poems were unique for her era, and much ahead of her time; they contained short lines, typically lacked titles, and often use slant rhyme as well as unconventional capitalization and punctuation. Many of her poems deal with themes of death and immortality. After her death in 1886, her younger sister Lavinia discovered her cache of poems; it was then that the breadth of work became apparent to the public. How often do you believe hope begins in the dark? How often do you grow accustomed to the dark? What have you done lately to give yourself hope in the dark? Have you ever been stuck in the dark for an extended period of time? If so, how did you escape it? How often have you ‘sometimes hit a tree but adjust yourself to midnight?’ Have you provided hope to someone who may have grown accustomed to the dark?

Today is July 16 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you remind yourself it is never too late to start?” Those who translate their dreams into reality understand two basic principles: you need as many dreams as it would take you two lifetimes to achieve and it is never too late to dream. At 23, Tina Fey was working at a YMCA. At 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer. At 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school. At 28, J.K. Rowling was a struggling single parent living on welfare. At 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter. At 37, Ang Lee was a stay-at-home-dad working odd jobs. At 39, Julia Child released her first cookbook and got her cooking show at age 51. At 40, Vera Wang designed her first dress. At 40, Stan Lee released his first big comic book. At 42, Alan Rickman gave up his graphic design career to pursue acting. At 42, Samuel L. Jackson got his first movie role. At 51 Leonardo Da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa. At 52, Morgan Freeman landed his first major movie role. At 53 Ray Kroc bought the McDonalds franchise and took it to unprecedented levels. At 54 Dr. Seuss wrote "The Cat in the Hat". At 57, Kathryn Bigelow achieved global success when she made The Hurt Locker. At 59, Kawasaki Shozo founded Kawasaki. At 61, Charles Flint founded IBM. At 62, Col. Harland Sanders founded KFC. At 76, Grandma Moses began her painting career. Many of those on the list had multiple careers. Some started over in an entirely different field. Some quit and changed directions. They all had one thing in common – they kept going and believed it was never too late to start. American ballet dancer Misty Danielle Copeland said “You can start late. Look different. Be uncertain. And still succeed. The opportunities are out there. You just have to believe in yourself and not let anyone's words come in and define you and change your path. You are going to hear 'no' in life no matter what you do. You just have to keep pushing and persevering. And I think it's important to know that it doesn't matter what your skin color is, or your body shape is. Whatever you want to do, you should go for it.” She did. Copeland tells her story in Life in Motion: An Unlikely Ballerina . She started learning ballet at 13 years of age, much later than when most dancers start, taking her first class on a basketball court at a Boys and Girls Club. Since most dancers take up to 15 years to get the right amount of training to make it to a professional level by 17 years of age, she had to shove all of that into four years. By age 15, her mother and ballet teachers, who were serving as her custodial guardians, fought a very public custody battle over her. The 1998 legal issues involved filings for emancipation by Copeland and restraining orders by her mother. Both sides dropped legal proceedings, and Copeland moved home to begin studying under a new teacher who was a former American Ballet Theater (ABT) member. In 1997, Copeland won the Los Angeles Music Center Spotlight Award as the best dancer in Southern California. After two summer workshops with ABT, she became a member of ABT's Studio Company in 2000 and its corps de ballet in 2001 and became an ABT soloist in 2007. As a soloist from 2007 to mid-2015, she was described as having matured into a more contemporary and sophisticated dancer. On June 30, 2015, Copeland became the first African American woman to be promoted to principal dancer in ABT's 75-year history. With a non-traditional entry into ballet, Copeland has created buzz outside of that world due to her being one of the few African American performers seen in classical dance. In a meteoric rise, she has continually acknowledged the responsibility she feels to others looking to make their way in dance. Her trailblazing accomplishments have been recognized by a range of institutions, and in spring 2015 she was named one of Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People. How often do you feel as though you are starting too late, think you look too different, or remain uncertain? Whatever your dreams are is, it is not too late to achieve them. Never tell yourself you are too old to make it. Never tell yourself you missed your chance. Never tell yourself that you are not good enough. As C.S. Lewis noted "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." How often do you remind yourself that you are never too old to follow your dreams? Is someone in your life telling you it is too late to pursue one of your dreams? Have you stopped pursuing a goal because you told yourself you were too old? Has someone told you that you were too told to try something? Do you have enough dreams for two lifetimes to achieve? Have you ever told someone it is too late for them to start something? If you have trouble setting a new goal or dreaming a new dream, why do you think that is?

Today is July 15 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often are you learning, unlearning, and relearning?” Those who leverage their mind, body, and spirit to navigate the chaos and translate one dream after another into reality often use the strategy of learning something, then unlearning it in order to relearn a new way of thinking about it or doing it. American writer, futurist, and businessman Alvin Toffler wrote a series of seminal works on the future where he repeatedly expressed the need for individuals to learn, unlearn, and relearn. In 1970 Toffler published his first book about the future with Future Shock . He coined the term "future shock" to refer to what happens to a society when change happens too fast, which results in social confusion and normal decision-making processes breaking down. He and his wife Heidi Toffler, who collaborated with him for most of his writings, then moved on to examining the reaction to changes in society with another best-selling book, The Third Wave in 1980. In it, they foresaw such technological advances as cloning, personal computers, the Internet, cable television and mobile communication. The Toffler’s later focus, via their other best-seller, Powershift , (1990), was on the increasing power of 21st-century military hardware and the proliferation of new technologies. In Powershift Toffler wrote “The illiterate of the 21st Century are not those who cannot read and write but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” Toffler learned firsthand how to navigate the chaos by understanding the necessity to learn, unlearn, and relearn. Born in New York City, and raised in Brooklyn, Toffler was inspired to become a writer at the age of 7 by his aunt and uncle. "They were Depression-era literary intellectuals and they always talked about exciting ideas." After meeting Heidi in college, the two married and moved out to the Midwest where they spent five years as blue-collar workers on assembly lines while studying industrial mass production in their daily work. He compared his own desire for experience to other writers, such as Jack London, who in his quest for subjects to write about sailed the seas, and John Steinbeck, who went to pick grapes with migrant workers. In their first factory jobs, Heidi became a union shop steward in the aluminum foundry where she worked. Alvin became a millwright and welder. His hands-on practical labor experience helped Alvin Toffler land a position at a union-backed newspaper, a transfer to its Washington bureau in 1957, then three years as a White House correspondent, covering Congress and the White House for a Pennsylvania daily newspaper. They returned to New York City in 1959 when Fortune magazine invited Alvin to become its labor columnist, later having him write about business and management. After leaving Fortune magazine in 1962, Toffler began a freelance career, writing long form articles for scholarly journals and magazines. Toffler spent the 1960s conducting research with Heidi for what would eventually become their first book Future Shock. As Alvin Toffler wrote in Future Shock : “To survive, to avert what we have termed future shock, the individual must become infinitely more adaptable and capable than ever before. We must search out totally new ways to anchor ourselves, for all the old roots - religion, nation, community, family, or profession - are now shaking under the hurricane impact of the accelerative thrust. It is no longer resources that limit decisions, it is the decision that makes the resources.” But this ‘searching out totally new ways’ to do just about anything is often met with resistance from those who are unable, unwilling, or unrealistic about the rate and frequency of change. As Toffler wrote in The Third Wave : "A new civilization is emerging in our lives, and blind men everywhere are trying to suppress it. This new civilization brings with it new family styles; changed ways of working, loving, and living; a new economy; new political conflicts; and beyond all this an altered consciousness as well...The dawn of this new civilization is the single most explosive fact of our lifetimes." Toffler was unapologetic regarding the role individuals had when it came to adapting to change and wrote “Our moral responsibility is not to stop the future, but to shape it...to channel our destiny in humane directions and to ease the trauma of transition.” To survive and thrive in a world of constant change, those who navigate the chaos often put into practice the observation of psychologist Herbert Gerjuoy of the Human Resources Research Organization who noted “The new education must teach the individual how to classify and reclassify information, how to evaluate its veracity, how to change categories when necessary, how to move from the concrete to the abstract and back, how to look at problems from a new direction—how to teach himself. Tomorrow’s illiterate will not be the man who can’t read; he will be the man who has not learned how to learn.” How often are you learning, unlearning, and relearning? How often do you talk about ideas? How often do you remind yourself that ‘your moral responsibility is not to stop the future but to shape it?’ How often do you move from the concrete to the abstract and back? How often do you look at problems from a new direction? Are you blind and trying to suppress change? If so, why is that? How often do you remind others that they too need to learn how to learn in order to navigate the chaos?

Today is July 14 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you respond with intention?” For those translating their dreams into reality, they understand the observations by British politician and writer Benjamin Disraeli who noted “Circumstances are beyond human control, but our conduct is in our own power.” Those who navigate the chaos often recognize the randomness of life often creates circumstances beyond their control; yet they work hard at being intentional with their response. This is especially true when it comes to the relationship between one’s career and one’s life purpose. For example, when someone loses their job they might consider themselves a loser, they might be bitter towards their employer, or they may shut themselves off from the rest of the world. For those who leverage their mind, body, and spirit to navigate the chaos, they remind themselves of the following observation by best-selling author Beverly D. Flaxington “The problem with defining yourself by what happens to you is that life is more random than we’d like to think. Yes, sometimes the person who studies hard or networks well or works all hours succeeds in a way that someone who isn’t putting in the effort does not. However, as much as you may not like to admit it, there are also people who don’t put in a lot of effort and are naturally talented in a certain way, connected to the right people, or simply in the right place at the right time. Controlling what happens to you is not as easy as it may sound. But you can control how you respond.” Those who navigate the chaos build a level of personal confidence over time that allows them to move through life in an unshakeable manner, regardless of the outward circumstances. Responding with intention takes years of experience, reflection, and direction. Part of that process involves recalling the words of former first lady Eleanor Roosevelt who said, “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” During each day moving forward understand that being a ‘good’ person does not necessarily mean only good things will happen to you. One of the common threads throughout this entire Navigate the Chaos series is the realization that many people who have translated one dream after another had to deal with any number of issues, unforeseen events, and even tragedies along the way. How they responded with intention made all the difference in the accomplishment of their dreams. Rabbi Harold Kushner experienced first-hand the concept that ‘being a good person does not necessarily mean only good things will happen to you.’ In his 1981 international best-selling work of non-fiction When Bad Things Happen to Good People Kushner poses the question “if the universe was created and is governed by a God who is of a good and loving nature, why is there so much suffering and pain in it?” The book is dedicated to the memory of Kushner's young son, Aaron, who died at the age of 14 in 1977 of the incurable genetic disease Progeria. Kushner provides the following observation to guide the reader through part of the process involved with responding with intention when bad things happen. “‘What did I do to deserve this?’ is an understandable outcry from a sick and suffering person, but it is really the wrong question. Being sick or being healthy is not a matter of what God decides that we deserve. The better question is ‘If this has happened to me, what do I do now, and who is there to help me do it?’” As Flaxington noted “You have to learn to start separating who you are and how you think about yourself from what happens to you, good or bad. People who are super smart and talented, and even well networked and liked, get laid off. Someone who is devoted to health and wellness and takes good care of their physical body gets sick. Being a ‘good’ person doesn’t mean that only good things will happen to you.” In his follow-up book published in 1986 entitled When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough: The Search for a Life That Matters , Kushner reflected upon his first book released five years earlier and discussed his need to respond with intention. “The book’s success brought me some measure of fame and fortune, kept me impossibly busy for several years, put a strain on my health, my family, and my non-book related activities. But what it did more than anything else was force me to sort out the desirable from the less desirable in all of that glitter. Time and again I had to ask myself, ‘Is this what I really want out of life?’ I had to decide how I wanted to spend the limited time and energy I had, and what I really wanted to be remembered for.” His own search for meaning, his reflections, and his desire to be intentional in his response to life situations all formed the foundation of When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough. How often do you respond with intention? How often do you remind yourself that some, perhaps most, circumstances are beyond your control? How often do you remind yourself ‘your conduct is in your own power?’ How often do you remind yourself that you ‘can control how you respond?’ How often do you feel inferior to someone? Is that the intentionally response you really wanted to have? How often do you ‘separate yourself from who you are and how you think about yourself from what happens to you? Do you accept the premise that ‘being a good person does not necessarily mean that only good things will happen to you?’ How often do you spend enough time thinking about how you want to respond to any given life situation?

Today is July 13 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you feel sorry for yourself?” American statesman Benjamin Franklin noted “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Those who navigate the chaos seldom feel sorry for themselves. They simply have no time. Desiree Linden, Juan José Méndez Fernández, Frida Kahlo and Nairo Alexander Quintana Rojas are examples of extraordinary people who did not feel sorry for themselves. After battling sheets of rain, temperatures in the 30s and wind gusts up to 25 mph, Desiree Linden won the 2018 Boston Marathon; the first American woman to win there since 1985. “I think everyone was feeling bad based on the conditions,” she said in a New York Times interview. “But I was like, ‘Are you going to feel sorry for yourself, or are you going to compete and get this done?" Her victory at Boston also illustrated her grit as it took her 12 years of competing in marathons to finally win one. It was Linden’s sixth time competing here, and her knowledge of the course and trademark no-nonsense grit finally paid off. In 2011, she came in second in a sprint down Boylston Street, runner-up that year by only two seconds. Although she won by more than four minutes, she never looked back and said she ran scared the whole way to the finish line. As Linden recalled: “At six miles I thought, ‘No way, not my day,’ and then it was kind of hilarious how it worked out. You don’t want to go out into the lead—I was like, ‘this is going to go horribly wrong; I’m going to blow up.’ When you’re thinking you’re going to drop out, you don’t do the right things along the way. Then you break the tape, and you're like, ‘This is not what I expected today,’ but it’s absolutely amazing. Running down Boylston is amazing.” At 27 Juan José Méndez Fernández lost his left arm and most of his left leg in a motorcycle accident. “I passed out on the bike and crashed into a car. I got covered with a blanket until a policeman realized I was moving.” Fernandez started cycling to lose weight and after gaining substantial weight woke up one day said, “I can’t go on like this, I have to look forward, I want to live.” He would go on to win Paralympic medals in Athens and Beijing, gold in a world championship. Mexican painter Frida Kahlo observed: “At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.” Although she was disabled by polio as a child, Kahlo had been a promising student headed for medical school until a traffic accident at age eighteen, which caused her lifelong pain and medical problems. During her recovery, she returned to her childhood hobby of art with the idea of becoming an artist. Kahlo's work as an artist remained relatively unknown until the late 1970s, when her work was rediscovered by art historians and political activists. By the early 1990s, she had become not only a recognized figure in art history, but also regarded as an icon for Chicanos, the feminism movement, and the LGBT movement. Kahlo's work has been celebrated internationally as emblematic of Mexican national and indigenous traditions and by feminists for what is seen as its uncompromising depiction of the female experience and form. Nairo Alexander Quintana Rojas is a professional Colombian racing cyclist who had many reasons to make excuses but choose not to do so. As a result, he worked his way to the top of the cycling world. His best career results are winning the 2014 Giro d'Italia and 2016 Vuelta a España, as well as a 2nd place overall in the Tour de France of 2013 and 2015. When he was young his family did not have much. According to Quintana “we didn’t have a lot of money. My parents worked extremely hard for many hours to support us, and the bicycle became an important utensil to help them in our shop and farm.” When he was 16 years old, he used to drive his father’s car working as a taxi driver to raise money for the family so his father could rest. Quintana also had to recover from being involved in an accident when he was out riding. “A taxi hit me when I was 15. I was in a coma in the hospital for five days. I was incredibly lucky to survive. Thinking about the past helps me to realize how hard everybody worked in my home so I can be where I am now.” As with most emotions, there are upsides to feeling sorry for yourself though. Such upsides are only available to those who are aware they exist as strategies to navigate the chaos themselves. As Jennifer Lock Oman wrote in a January 18, 2022, Psychology Today article “Grief, especially feeling sorrow for ourselves, travels with three particular emotions— anger, distress, and shame. While, without question, this trifecta of feelings can feel unbearable, it also carries gifts. Once released from a frozen state, anger can turn into healthy agency; sadness can turn into asking for what we need; and shame can turn into remembering our inherent goodness and knowing where responsibility really lies for what happened to us.” How often do you feel sorry for yourself? If you do feel sorry for yourself, how long does such a feeling last? Why do you feel sorry for yourself? How often have you turned the anger from feeling sorry for yourself into health agency? How often have you turned sadness from feeling sorry for yourself into asking what you really need at that life moment? How often have you turned the shame from feeling sorry for yourself into remembering your inherent goodness?

Today is July 12 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you believe you are 100% in charge of your life?” Indian Hindu monk, yogi, and guru Paramahansa Yogananda noted “Success is hastened or delayed by one’s habits. It is not your passing inspirations or brilliant ideas so much as your everyday mental habits that control your life.” Paramahansa introduced millions to the teachings of meditation and Kriya Yoga through his organization Self-Realization Fellowship and his best-selling 1946 book Autobiography of a Yogi . Fellow best-selling author Jack Canfield would echo Paramahansa’s thoughts and wrote “You only have control over three things in your life – the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take.” Comedian Jerry Seinfeld navigated the chaos when he was fired from a television show by taking charge of his life. Seinfeld had a small role on the sitcom "Benson," but the producers did not like the way he was playing the part. They fired him after only three episodes yet never told him. He showed up for a read-through one day and found his part was missing. He was humiliated, but he went right back to performing at comedy clubs. After one performance, a talent scout for the "Tonight Show" was in the audience. Seinfeld landed a gig on the show and his career immediately took off. He could have easily felt sorry for himself and stopped performing for a while. He could have blamed the producers of Benson for firing him. But like almost everyone who navigates the chaos, Seinfeld believed he was in charge of his life and went out performing. Like Seinfeld, professional runner Dave Wottle believed he was also in charge of his life. In 1972, then 22-year-old Dave Wottle took charge of his life, got married, and won a gold medal in the 800-meter final of the Olympics. The vision of Wottle, a lanky, shaggy-haired 22-year-old in a golf cap, making up a 10-meter deficit on the final lap to first catch the pack of runners, then move up to third, and then in the final steps catch Soviet star Evgeni Arzhenov to win by just 0.03 seconds, is one of the indelible Olympic images of the last 50 years. But inextricably tied to his Olympic story is another gala event -- his wedding to his wife, Jan. “I was married six days after the Olympic trials, July 15, 1972," Wottle said. "Part of our honeymoon was at the pre-Olympic training camp at Bowdoin College in Maine." That honeymoon was not universally well-received. Bill Bowerman, the legendary Oregon coach who helmed the Olympic track team in 1972, was not pleased with Wottles’ nuptials. "He was old-school, and I'm trying to think how to put this tactfully," Wottle said, "but he thought women weakened legs." So much so, that after Wottle qualified for the Games in both his specialty, the 1,500 meters, and in the 800, Bowerman tried to talk the freshly minted Bowling Green graduate out of his wedding. Wottle politely refused. The Wottles wed, spent a few days together at a state park in Ohio, and headed off to training camp in Maine. Although Wottle was in peak condition at the trials he went out hard the first day of training -- "trying to show people I was ready even after I got married," he said -- and hurt his left knee. The tendinitis kept him from running for more than a week and curtailed much of his training in the run-up to the Games. Jan kept reassuring her husband that things would work out. She was right. Following Wottle’s gold medal run, announcer Jim McKay said, “some people said he should not have got married since it was going to ruin him.” But it did not ruin him. Wottle personified what entrepreneur and author Gary Vaynerchuk would eventually proclaim: "You are 100 fucking percent in charge of your life - stop fucking bitching." But people do bitch about their life, their failures, and their situation. All the time. Why is this? One explanation as to why people wallow in self-pity bitching all the time can be found in the words of French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre who wrote the following passage in his 1946 publication Existentialism is a Humanism : “For many have but one resource to sustain them in their misery, and that is to think, ‘Circumstances have been against me, I was worthy to be something much better than I have been. I admit I have never had a great love or a great friendship; but that is because I never met a man or a woman who were worthy of it; if I have not written any very good books, it is because I had not the leisure to do so; or, if I have had no children to whom I could devote myself it is because I did not find the man I could have lived with. So there remains within me a wide range of abilities, inclinations, and potentialities, unused but perfectly viable, which endow me with a worthiness that could never be inferred from the mere history of my actions.’” How often do you believe you are 100% in charge of your life? How often do you remind yourself your ‘success is hastened or delayed by your habits?’ How often do you remind yourself ‘you only have control over three things in life – the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take.?’ How often do you find yourself bitching about your life situation yet doing nothing to change it? How often have you convinced yourself that ‘circumstances have been against me?’

Today is July 11 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you pursue the Golden Mean?” Two Irish writers begin today’s reflection focused on moderation, also known as the Golden Mean. Oscar Wilde observed “Everything in moderation, including moderation” while Flann O'Brien noted “Moderation, we find, is an extremely difficult thing to get in this country.” In order to leverage your mind, body, and spirit to translate one dream after another into reality, using the strategy of moderation, even though challenging at times, is certainly a viable option. Moderation is synonymous with the Golden Mean. The Golden Mean is defined as the desirable middle between two extremes, one of excess and the other of deficiency. It appeared in Greek thought at least as early as the Delphic maxim "nothing in excess" and emphasized in later Aristotelian philosophy. For example, in the Aristotelian view, courage is a virtue, but if taken to excess would manifest as recklessness, and, in deficiency, cowardice. Navigating the chaos requires one to be agile in thought, disciplined in approach, and intentional in response. Being agile, disciplined, and intentional will allow one to know when to pursue the Golden Mean and when to use an extreme. Pursuing the Golden Mean affords one the flexibility required to answer questions, resolve issues, and address problems as they arise while translating one dream after another into reality. Oscillating from one extreme to the next, all the while keeping the Golden Mean in site, can be a powerful strategy to use while navigating the chaos. Pursuing the Golden Mean provides one with the focus required to understand the extremes and the difference between abusing them and using them appropriately. To illustrate the Golden Mean the example of a coward is a good reference point. During a crisis, when one fails to speak up, act, or attempt to resolve the situation they are demonstrating the characteristics of a coward. On the other hand, during a crisis when one uses reckless abandon to speak up, act, or resolve the situation, they are on the opposite end of the spectrum. The Golden Mean between being a coward and reckless abandon is courage. A courageous person is neither a coward nor a reckless abandon. This person, according to Aristotle, would be living a virtuous life and happy. They would be balanced having discovered the Golden Mean. Like most of the daily strategies discussed in this series, pursuing the Golden Mean is no easy task as it requires a high degree of self-awareness, strict discipline, and attention to detail. A modern reference to the Golden Mean can be found in Megan Garber’s July/August 2021 article “ Top Gun Is an Informercial for America” published in The Atlantic. Reflecting upon the 35th anniversary of the film’s release, Garber wrote “To watch Top Gun now, freshly aware of how easily rugged individualism can take a turn toward the toxic, is to appreciate anew the film’s dicey feat: For its redemption story to land, its hero must be arrogant but not malignant, culpable but capable, infuriating but also easy to love. Maverick’s is a load-bearing charm. And his film’s willingness to pamper him raises still-fraught questions about selfish entitlement. Who gets the gift of multiple second chances, and who does not? Who has to follow the rules? Who is allowed to break them?” Middle Ages philosopher Maimonides contemplated the Golden Mean and wrote: "If a man finds that his nature tends or is disposed to one of these extremes..., he should turn back and improve, so as to walk in the way of good people, which is the right way. The right way is the mean in each group of dispositions common to humanity; namely, that disposition which is equally distant from the two extremes in its class, not being nearer to the one than to the other." Let’s reflect upon Maimonides observation. First, ‘if man finds his disposition to an extreme’ he should turn back and improve. This is a fascinating suggestion given the contemporary reliance, often blind ignorance, on the political extremes. Doing so, of course, requires one to walk towards the other extreme in order to reach the middle, and along the way understanding you will encounter those who belief something different. Second, Maimonides states that ‘the right way is the mean in each group of dispositions common to humanity.’ How often do you pursue the Golden Mean? How often do you contemplate using one of the extremes of the Golden Mean in any given situation? Do you have the self-awareness to recognize your disposition is extreme? If not, what can you do to better see yourself? If so, do you possess the self-discipline to ‘turn back and improve?’ How difficult will it be for you to meet others in the center and join hands with them at the Golden Mean? How uncomfortable will it be for you to nudge away from the extreme and slide more towards the Golden Mean in order to engage in what Maimonides labeled ‘the right way’ of living and thinking? How often are you ‘arrogant but not malignant?’ How often are you ‘culpable yet capable?’ How often are you ‘infuriating but also easy to love?’

Today is July 10 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you realize grades have nothing to do with your brilliance?” Another way of phrasing today’s question is “do you realize all of the following have little to no impact on your ability to translate your dreams into reality: a)a lack of a college degree, b)your college major, c)where you graduated from, and d)your grade point average. That’s right, your major, school, and GPA have little to do with your future success. In November 2016 Nobel Prize winning economist James J. Heckman and three colleagues published the paper "What Grades and Achievement Tests Measure” and concluded personality is one of the most important predictors of success. Grades capture personality traits like perseverance, diligence, and self-discipline, three helpful traits that can lead to success. On the other hand, IQ alone only accounts for 1% to 2% of income differences. Other evidence further supports that IQ and/or grades have little to do with your brilliance; nor are they related to determining your future income or career success. In their 2018 book The CEO Next Door, Elena Botelho and Kim Powell concluded “educational pedigree (or lack thereof) in no way correlated to performance: Only 7% of the high-performing CEOs we studied had an undergraduate Ivy League education, and 8% of them didn’t graduate from college at all.” In term of one’s major The Association of American Colleges and Universities reported “93% of employers surveyed agree, “a candidate’s demonstrated capacity to think critically, communicate clearly, and solve complex problems is more important than their undergraduate major.” In short, the research is overwhelmingly clear that the school you attended, your major, and your GPA all make little difference to your future income. Nor do any of those factors have anything to do with your brilliance. In 2020 a new trend emerged with dozens of companies no longer requiring a college degree for certain entry level jobs. Companies such as Apple, Google, and Hilton are three companies that have come to the realization a college degree does not necessarily equal self-discipline, a strong work ethic, and grit. Maggie Stilwell, Ernst and Young’s managing partner for talent noted “Academic qualifications will still be taken into account and indeed remain an important consideration when assessing candidates as a whole but will no longer act as a barrier to getting a foot in the door.” Actor Henry Winkler learned this lesson while he was navigating the chaos and practicing the art of living well. Winkler has said that he was very anxious as a child because of his undiagnosed dyslexia, and he was often considered to be "slow, stupid, and not living up to his potential.” He also said that his relationship with his parents was strained, due at least partially to their attitude towards his condition. His father spoke 11 languages and could quickly do mathematics in his head, and thus did not understand Winkler's problems at school and why Winkler would celebrate earning a C grade. His father often called him a "dumb dog" in German and punished him for his difficulties in school. According to Winkler: “When I was little, my parents would ground me for six weeks at a stretch. I was a D student with an occasional C minus. Exasperated with my poor grades, my father had me sit at my desk for hours and told me to concentrate. But I couldn’t. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Nobody did. We weren’t aware of dyslexia back then.” When asked one of life’s greatest lessons, Winkler noted “How you do in school has nothing to do with how brilliant you are.” Despite his dyslexia, Winkler would go on to have an amazing career as an actor, comedian, director, producer, and author. He initially rose to fame for his role as Arthur "Fonzie" Fonzarelli, a greaser who became the breakout character of the sitcom Happy Days (1974–1984), for which he won two Golden Globe Awards and earned three Emmy Award nominations for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. He later played Barry Zuckerkorn on the comedy series Arrested Development (2003–2019) as well as dozens of other characters in television shows, stage performances, and films. In 1998, Winkler's agent at CAA, Alan Berger, suggested Winkler write a children's book about dyslexia, but Winkler did not think that he would be able to write because of his struggles with the learning disability. Berger was persistent, and a few years later, in 2003, he again suggested Winkler write. Winkler said yes and has since written 19 books. Through his writing Winkler helps people understand those who suffer from dyslexia. Can you accept the fact that how you do in school has nothing to do with how brilliant you are? How often are you pressuring your children, or yourself, into attending the “right” college, selecting the “right” major, and getting the “right” average? Do you have the self-awareness to realize your grit, determination, and ambition have more to do with your career than your major, school, and GPA? How do you define brilliance? When comparing two people – one with an A average and the other with a C average – do you automatically assume the A student is smarter? If so, why do you think that is?

Today is July 9 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you allow yourself to accept help?” Those who navigate the chaos accept help and often seek it out from those they respect. Accepting help, therefore, is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Conversely, some individuals trying to translate one dream after another into reality stop along their path and help others. Successful people who navigate the chaos, like author Stephen King, accepted help from his wife and in so doing was able to publish Carrie , his first novel. When King was two years old, his father left the family under the pretense of "going to buy a pack of cigarettes", leaving his mother to raise King and his adopted older brother, David, by herself. The family moved several times and when King was 11, returned to Durham, Maine, where his mother cared for her parents. King studied at the University of Maine, graduating in 1970 with a Bachelor of Arts in English. In 1971, King married Tabitha Spruce, a fellow student at the University of Maine. After graduation King was hired as a teacher at Hampden Academy and started submitting short stories to men’s magazines and worked on ideas for novels. In 1973, before Carrie was published, King, his wife Tabby, and their toddler and newborn lived in a doublewide trailer. King drove a rust-bucket Buick held together with baling wire and duct tape. King’s wife, Tabby, worked second-shift at Dunkin’ Donuts. Dealing with constant rejection and criticism from publishers and readers from the articles he did get published in the nudie mag market, King grew frustrated at his writing. He even threw a draft of Carrie out in the trash. As King wrote in his memoir “I couldn’t see wasting two weeks, maybe even a month, creating a novella I didn’t like and wouldn’t be able to sell.” But his wife found it in the trash, unwrinkled the pages, and told him to continue writing. “You’ve got something here,” she said. “I really think you do.” With her help King finished his first novel and after 30 rejections sold it to Doubleday. Charlize Theron needed help to stop what seemed to be a series of beyond-bad-luck stories for the stunning young South African. When Charlize was a 15-year-old farm girl, she watched her mother kill her abusive dad in self-defense. She then moved to Manhattan to pursue a career in dance, but her knees blew out and so too did her future as a ballerina. At 19, the neophyte actress was living in an L.A. dive, subsisting on stale rolls ripped off from restaurants. Final indignity: after begging mom for cash to stave off starvation, a Hollywood bank refused to cash her way-out-of-town $500 check. “You don’t understand—please,” she unsuccessfully begged the teller. So, she freaked—a screaming, flailing temper tantrum in front of the lunchtime crowd. It was her biggest and most rapt audience to date. Little did she know, it was also her first successful audition. Talent manager John Crosby, waiting to use an ATM, was captivated by the gorgeous, if high-strung, young woman. “If you’re interested, I’ll represent you,” he told her. As Theron later explained to Oprah, “If I hadn't been in the bank that day, I honestly don't think I'd be here right now.” A few months of acting classes later, she landed her first screen role. Ok, it was in Children of the Corn III, but nevertheless, Theron accepted Crosby’s help to launch her acting career. Companies need help sometimes as well. Michael J. Roarty, former Vice President and Director of Marketing at Anheuser-Busch persuaded the brewer in 1980 to give financial support to a then-struggling all-sports TV network, ESPN. “We gave them $1 million that first year. And if we hadn’t, they’d have gone under,” Roarty told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch a few months before he retired in 1994. “I believed the beer drinker was a sports lover. “The next year we gave them $5 million. I think it turned out to be the best investment we’ve ever made.” While King, Theron, and ESPN received help, Shaina Twain provided help to those most in need. Twain’s career actually began more out of necessity than raw ambition. Her parents divorced when she was two, and she rarely saw her father. Her mom and stepfather, to whom she grew close, often couldn’t make enough to get by, so Twain started singing in bars to make extra money when she was just eight years old. She recalls her mother waking her up at all hours to get up and perform. Although she expressed a dislike for singing in those bars, Twain believes that this was her own kind of performing-arts school on the road. She has said of the ordeal, "My deepest passion was music and it helped. There were moments when I thought, 'I hate this.' I hated going into bars and being with drunks. But I loved the music and so I survived.” Sadly, when she was 21, her mother and stepfather were killed in a head-on car accident with a logging truck on the highway. Twain put her career on hold to step in and take care of her three younger siblings (who were in their teens at the time). She sang in resorts and put off going after big-time stardom until her sister and brothers were old enough to care for themselves. Only once her youngest brother graduated high school did she feel OK heading down to Nashville to pursue her career. How often do you accept help as you navigate the chaos of life? How often can you pause translating your dreams into reality to help someone? If you are not accepting help, or not helping others, why do you think that is? Is there someone who helped you along the way you have yet to thank? How often do you remind yourself that help is a sign of strength?

Today is July 8 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how much grit do you have?” The 365 daily questions that make up the Navigate the Chaos series examine the traits, habits, and behaviors of successful people. Through individual backstories, historical references, and academic research, Navigate the Chaos illustrates how the path to success contains both common and unique elements. One such common element is grit. It would be nearly impossible to find someone who has navigated the chaos and who never had to overcome an obstacle, resolve a problem, or address an unforeseen issue. If you want to translate your dreams into reality you will want to understand how much grit you have. The latest research suggests that for those who engage in deliberate practice, greatness is a possibility. Three books that specifically examine the theory of deliberate practice are Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers: The Story of Success and Geoff Colvin’s Talent is Over-rated: What Really Separates World-Class Performers from Everybody Else and Angela Duckworth’s Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. Each book examines how individuals achieved world-class mastery that put them at the top of their field. In her 2016 New York Times bestseller Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance , pioneering psychologist Angela Duckworth shows anyone striving to succeed—be it parents, students, educators, athletes, or business people—that the secret to outstanding achievement is not talent but a special blend of passion and persistence she calls “grit.” As a MacArthur Fellow, Duckworth, a psychology professor at the University of Pennsylvania, defined grit as the tendency to sustain interest in and effort toward very long-term goals. Doing so equips individuals to pursue, especially challenging aims over years and even decades. Duckworth noted that people who “accomplished great things often combined a passion for a single mission with an unswerving dedication to achieve that mission, whatever the obstacles and however long it might take.” Duckworth wrote “grit grows as we figure out our life philosophy, learn to dust ourselves off after rejection and disappointment, and learn to tell the difference between low-level goals that should be abandoned quickly and higher-level goals that demand more tenacity.” Colvin and Gladwell understand “everyone who has achieved exceptional performance has encountered terrible difficulties along the way. There are no exceptions.” Second, “what the evidence shouts most loudly is striking, liberating news that great performance is not reserved for a preordained few. It is available to you and to everyone.” Colvin concluded that talent, IQ, and experience, once thought to be the three pillars of success, play a less important role than previously thought when compared to one’s drive, decisiveness, and grit. Both authors believe that “great performance is available to you and to everyone.” Deliberate practice research indicates that long-term success requires a minimum of 10 years of engagement, coupled with grit, or the ability to persevere difficult situations and a willingness to adapt to challenges as they arise. The literary world is filed with authors who demonstrated grit to get their book published. One such example is The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter that publishers rejected so many times she decided to self-publish 250 copies. It has now sold 45 million copies. Entrepreneurship ventures also has plenty of examples of those who needed to have a high level of grit. When Jeff Bezos launched Amazon, he was met with a lot of questions about whether it could even get off the ground. In an interview with 60 Minutes , he explained the juggling act he had to do to raise early funds for the business. “I had to take 60 meetings to raise $1 million, and I raised it from 22 people at approximately $50,000 a person,” Bezos recalled. “It was nip and tuck whether I was going to be able to raise that money. So, the whole thing could have ended before the whole thing started. That was 1995, and the first question every investor asked me was: ‘What’s the internet?'” Bezos needed grit to both acquire the funding necessary to launch and grow Amazon and for the nine years it would take for his company to make a profit. By 1996, Amazon had sales that reached $15.7 million and $147.8 million in 1997 but the company was still in the red. As Drew Hendricks wrote in Inc . “By the end of the decade, Amazon was not as promising as it once seemed. Despite having revenues of $1.6 billion in 1999, Amazon still managed to lose $719 million. Things did not get better in 2000, when it was found that Amazon had just around $350 million of cash on hand, despite raising billions of dollars. Bezos finally turned a profit in 2003, which was nine years after being founded and seven years after going public.” To determine your level of grit and measure your tenacity for sticking with long-term goals that require you to go from one failure to another without any loss of enthusiasm you can complete the True Grit Assessment developed by psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania, University of Michigan, and West Point and published in November 2012 edition of The Intelligent Optimist. The researchers development this assessment to test their hypothesis that persistence was as important to success as intelligence. To measure your own grit, answer the following questions using the following scale: · A meaning very much like me · B mostly like me · C somewhat like me · D not much like me · E unlike me 1. I have overcome setbacks to conquer an important challenge. 2. New ideas and projects sometimes distract me from previous ones. 3. My interests change from year to year. 4. Setbacks do not discourage me. 5. I have been obsessed with a certain idea for a short time, but later lost interest. 6. I am a hard worker. 7. I often set a goal, but later choose to pursue a different one. 8. I have difficulty maintaining my focus on projects that take more than a few months to complete. 9. I finish whatever I began. 10. I have achieved a goal that took years of work. 11. I become interested in new pursuits every few months. 12. I am diligent. Directions to determine your grit score: For questions 1, 4, 6, 9, 10, and 12 assign the following points: a = 5, b = 4, c = 3, d = 2, e = 1. For questions 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, and 11 assign the following points: a = 1, b = 2, c = 3, d = 4, e = 5. Now, add all your points and divide by 12. The maximum score is 5 (meaning you are extremely gritty) and the lowest is 1 (you lack grit). How much grit do you have? What aspect of grit would you like to work on in the next week? Does anyone in your life demonstrate the grit you would like to achieve?

Today is July 7 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you say ‘I am too busy?’” As soon as you have the urge to say: “I am too busy,” “I am so busy,” or “You have no idea how busy I am,” just stop. STOP! Just stop it. Everyone is busy. Get over yourself. Would you like a prize? Perhaps a toy, a cookie, or a star for how busy you are? Here is a little-known secret, no one cares. Hurtful? Maybe. Honest? Definitely. The phrase “no one cares, work harder” is one of the more popular memes these days. The phrase now appears on everything from mugs, to shirts, to inspirational posters. So, when you are just about to tell yourself, or someone else, recall this phrase “no one cares, work harder.” All too often people obsess over how busy they are without any sense of accomplishment. Some people stay busy to keep themselves happy. Still others stay busy to brag about how busy they are to impress others. Some people are busy just for the sake of being busy. These people are not grinding it out nor are they working towards a specific goal or translating theory into action. They are merely justifying how busy they are. Successful people who navigate the chaos often remind themselves to avoid the busyness trap. Researchers have recently examined “idleness aversion and the need for justifiable busyness.” One such researcher, Christopher K. Hsee, of the University of Chicago, believes that "People are running around, working hard, way beyond the basic level because they have excessive energy and want to avoid idleness." Writing in Fast Company , Jory MacKay described the paradox when it comes to busyness. “Anyone with professional ambition strives to do great work and be recognized for their talent and therefore is in high demand (i.e. busy). However, the more in demand you are (i.e. busy), the harder it is to provide the same quality of work or creative thinking that got you there in the first place. If being in demand is proof you’re doing a good job, it’s easy to mistake busyness for validation. But the opposite of busyness isn’t laziness or emptiness or unmoored drifting through life. Its purpose. Choice. Prioritization. Being busy is letting others control your time. Being purposeful is being in the driver’s seat.” As Tim Kreider wrote in a New York Times editorial "people who have self-imposed a label of ‘always busy’ on themselves do so out of their addiction to busyness itself and dread what they might have to face in its absence.” Inventor Thomas A. Edison noted “Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing.” Gary Burnison, CEO of Korn Ferry made an interesting commentary on being busy when he wrote “When someone asks you to take part in something, they want to know whether you consider them as a worthy investment of your time. And sometimes, the best thing to do is to say yes. Being typecast as the person who is self-important and always unavailable will only hurt, not help, your career.” This concept of saying yes to work when you are already busy refers to the oft quote phrase “if you want something done give it to a busy person.” The interesting fact about this quote is that it seems to have originated from an 1856 report delivered by Reverend W. J. Kennedy who was the Inspector of Schools for Lancashire and the Isle of Man in Britain: “Just as it is almost proverbial that, if you want any business done for you, you should ask a busy man to do it, and not a man of leisure, so it is the laborious scholar, who is working hard at languages, who picks up, nay, actually reads and studies more of other subjects than the rest of his fellows at school or college.” The ironic thing about that quote is that it was delivered over 160 years ago when the world moved at a snail’s pace compared to today! In a June 25, 2018 Forbes article Jennifer Cohen suggested people focus on four things to help increase their productivity. First, focus on one thing that will generate the greatest results and make sure that is complete before moving on. Second, master the day and your calendar and do not let either dictate your life. Third, eliminate distractions. Finally, think smaller and set daily goals that are attainable. How often do you say, ‘I am too busy?’ Why do you feel the need to say, “I am so busy?” How does it make you feel when you hear yourself tell someone out loud that “you are so busy?” Do you wear being busy like a badge of honor upon your chest? Does being busier (whatever that means) than someone else make you feel superior? Do you find yourself doing things just to make yourself busy? How much of your identity is caught up in telling yourself how busy you are? Do you believe the adage “if you want something done, give it to a busy person?” Has anyone ever told you they are too busy to help you? If so, how did that make you feel? Have you stopped yourself from doing something because you have convinced yourself you are too busy? How would your life change today if you stopped saying you were too busy?