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  • How often do you experience a more than an ordinary moment?

    Today is June 15 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you experience a more than an ordinary moment?” Those that navigate the chaos like American art teacher Robert Henri, are intrinsically motivated and understand the value of experiencing a more than ordinary moment of existence. As Henri wrote “The object of painting a picture is not to make a picture. The picture is a by-product and may be useful as a sign of what has passed. The object is the attainment of a state of being, a high state of functioning, a more than ordinary moment of existence.” Living well means doing something with no end result in mind. Experiencing more than an ordinary moment means giving of your time, perhaps your effort, and even your support, with no payback. How often do you ‘paint a picture for the sake of painting a picture’ without any expectation of a payback? Do you only involve yourself in ‘a sure thing,?’ Must you only give of yourself if there is a guarantee? Those who navigate the chaos and practice the art of living well often get involved with projects, people, or places with absolutely no idea where their path will take them. As Henri said, such people ‘paint the picture to achieve a more than an ordinary moment of existence.’ But identifying a more than ordinary moment of existence is perhaps one of life’s greatest challenges. More than ordinary moments are often unexpected conversations in unplanned places at unscheduled times. Such conversations lead to more discussions. Over time something happens, and a finished product is presented all due to an initial conversation that, it turned out, was more than an ordinary moment of existence. But herein lies the key to remember for today’s reflection, there was never a sure thing throughout the course of the conversation. Two such examples come from the backstories of writers Jonathan Larson and Sylvester Stallone. Larson was the catalyst behind the Broadway musical RENT. A conversation on his building’s rooftop would eventually become a more than ordinary moment of existence. Billy Aronson came to New York in 1983 after studying drama at Yale University. He lived in Hell's Kitchen just up the street from Lincoln Center and would attend opera in his spare time, falling in love with Bohème in particular. "I had this idea for a Bohème for now — for our generation that had sort of a 'noise' and [that] captured the un-Bohèmeness of it: not sweet and not luscious," says Aronson. "Since I don't write music, I went looking for a composer, and I was affiliated with Playwrights Horizons, so Ira Weitzman, the director of musical theatre there, recommended two composers, one of whom was Jonathan Larson. Their first meeting was at Larson's apartment in the West Village. Aronson remembers that Larson took him up a fire escape on a hot day to flesh out the idea on the roof, where there was a beach chair and a crate. "You could feel the desire," Aronson says of Larson. It would take Larson over seven years to write the music, lyrics, and book for the musical, RENT, that would gain critical acclaim and won several awards, including the Pulitzer Prize for Drama and the Tony Award for Best Musical. Sadly, Larson died unexpectedly the morning of RENT's first preview performance Off-Broadway. He suffered an aortic dissection, believed to have been caused by undiagnosed Marfan syndrome, in the early morning on January 25, 1996. Stallone, the writer behind the film Rocky, had a passing conversation that would eventually become a more than an ordinary moment. According to an interview Stallone reflected on that time in his life and said “I first met Bob Chartoff and Irwin Winkler, and I believe I was there on a casting call. So, we're talking a little bit, and I said I really wasn't right for the acting part. And on the way out, I said I don't know if it matters, but I do a little bit of writing. And he goes, really? And I says yeah, I'm writing this story, I have this thing about wrestlers, and I might do something about boxing. He goes, ‘well bring it around.’ And I thought if I hadn't stopped on the way out, you know that's why I tell all actors or writers, don't give up, keep talking, eventually you might hit a nerve somewhere and they go ‘come on back.’ And if they didn't say come on back or bring it later and let's see what you developed, I wouldn't be sitting here.” Rocky, made on a budget of just over $1 million, was a sleeper hit; it earned $225 million in global box office receipts, becoming the highest-grossing film of 1976. The film was critically acclaimed and solidified Stallone's career, and went on to receive ten Academy Award nominations, winning three, including Best Picture. Larson and Stallone were struggling to navigate the chaos when they experienced more than an ordinary moment in their unexpected conversations with others. They spent years severely struggling financially, personally, and professionally. Yet, they both understood the value of how life can provide a more than an ordinary moment if one is aware. They each turned those momentary conversations into ongoing dialogues resulting in Larson’s RENT and Stallone’s Rocky and forever altered the landscape of musicals and film respectively all because they experienced more than an ordinary moment. How often do you experience more than an ordinary moment? How often are you using your voice to talk to others about what you are working on or perhaps what you would like to be doing? How often do you remind yourself there is extraordinary potential in every day conversations? How often do you think you have inspired a more than an ordinary moment for someone else?

  • How often are you true to yourself?

    Today is June 14 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often are you true to yourself?” Irwin Winkler and Robert Chartoff offered Sylvester Stallone $350,000 for the rights to his script about a Philadelphia boxer but had their own casting ideas for the lead role, including Robert Redford or Burt Reynolds. Stallone refused to sell unless he played the lead character and eventually, after a substantial budget cut to compromise, it was agreed he could be the star. Despite being nearly homeless and almost completely out of money, Stallone stayed true to himself and turned down the $350,000 to play the lead in the film Rocky, which would go on to become one of the most iconic movies of all time. Composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart noted “I pay no attention whatever to anybody's praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings.” Stallone followed his own feelings and remained true to himself despite needing the money offered to him. Could you have turned down such an offer? To be true to yourself, however, you need to know who you are. You need to be aware of your feelings. Like Stallone, you need to know what is best for you. You need to understand the concept of the self. Know that your self, the self you have control over, develops over time; or at least one would hope it does. Are you really the same person at 42 you were at 22? Opportunities to exhibit emotional, intellectual, and social maturity happen daily and when you add those up over decades one generally has progressed. This does not always happen of course. Some people lack the capacity to grow. For whatever reason, their maturity level never rises above that of an adolescent. For others, however, their life situation prevents them from being true to their self for any number of reasons. Researcher and author Brené Brown has spent a good deal of time examining this topic of being true to one’s self. One reason some lack a sense of their true self is because they are listening to the wrong people. As Brown wrote “A lot of cheap seats in the arena are filled with people who never venture onto the floor. They just hurl mean-spirited criticisms and put-downs from a safe distance. The problem is, when we stop caring what people think and stop feeling hurt by cruelty, we lose our ability to connect. But when we are defined by what people think, we lose the courage to be vulnerable. Therefore, we need to be selective about the feedback we let into our lives. For me, if you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.” Are you listening to everyone’s criticism of your life situation? Why is that? To be true to your self demands a discernment between those who have earned the ability to criticize you and those who have not. Those closest to you who have earned such a place in the development of your self, can provide the catalyst you need to develop. As author Shannon L. Alder wrote “Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.” Who has helped you figure out your worth? Who has helped pilot your plane to the valley of change? Writer Mohadesa Najumi went further and commented on a woman’s ability to be true to her self when she wrote “My view is that a woman who goes through life without taking any notice of society's perception of her becomes the most feared individual on the planet. This is because patriarchy wants to reduce her to an insecure, submissive female and as long as she rejects the notion of validation, she is perceived as a threat to the status quo.” One such woman who threatened the status quo, and remained true to her self anyway, was American athlete Mildred Ella "Babe" Didrikson Zaharias. Zaharias was an American athlete ignored the critics and achieved a great deal of success in golf, basketball, baseball and track and field. She won two gold medals in track and field at the 1932 Summer Olympics, before turning to professional golf and winning 10 LPGA major championships. She was named the 10th Greatest North American Athlete of the 20th Century by ESPN and the 9th Greatest Athlete of the 20th Century by the Associated Press. She was one of six initial inductees into the LPGA Hall of Fame at its inception in 1977. Zaharias broke the accepted models of femininity in her time, including the accepted models of female athleticism. Standing 5 feet 7 inches tall and weighing 115 pounds, Zaharias was physically strong and socially straightforward about her strength. Although a sports hero to many, she was also derided for her "manliness." Babe performed at a time when female athletes were considered freakish at best, downright unacceptable at worst. "She was not a feminist, not a militant, not a strategist launching campaigns against sexual liberation," wrote William Johnson and Nancy Williamson in Whatta-Gal!: The Babe Didrikson Story. "She was an athlete, and her body was her most valuable possession." How often are you remaining true to yourself? How often are you paying attention to someone’s praise or blame? How often are you taking criticism from someone who is not ‘in the arena getting their ass kicked?’ When life required it, how often did you ‘pick up your suitcase of pride and boarded a flight to freedom to land in the valley of change?’ How often do you ‘go through life without taking any notice of society's perception of who you are in order to become the most feared individual on the planet?’

  • How often can you solve one problem after another?

    Today is June 13 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often can you solve one problem after another?” Solving problems by leveraging your mind, body, and spirit is perhaps one of the most often used strategies involved with navigating the chaos. Austrian-born British philosopher Sir Karl Popper stated, "all life is problem solving" while W. Clement Stone noted “Everyone who achieves success in a great venture solves each problem as they came to it. They helped themselves. And they were helped through powers known and unknown to them at the time they set out on their voyage. They keep going regardless of the obstacles they met.” Explorer Ernest Henry Shackleton is one just person. Shackleton decided to be the first man to cross the continent of Antarctica by boat; possible during the summer months. Unfortunately, the crew of Shackleton’s Endurance ran out of summer, and their ship became permanently frozen in the polar ice. Though the crew was able to wait out most of the winter, the Endurance did not and sank leaving the crew stranded on an ice floe. He packed his crew into three lifeboats as the ice under them began to melt and got them safely to Elephant Island. Although Elephant Island was solid ground, it was still uninhabited and far from trade routes. Shackleton then set off for a whaling station 800 miles away. The boat reached South Georgia but landed on the side opposite the whaling station. The water was too dangerous, so Shackleton took two of his men and made a 36-hour trek over a snowy mountain range to the whaling station. From there he organized the rescue of all his men, without a single fatality among his crew. Researcher Nancy Koehn “was struck by Shackleton’s ability to respond to constantly changing circumstances. When his expedition encountered serious trouble, he had to reinvent the team’s goals. He had begun the voyage with a mission of exploration, but it quickly became a mission of survival. This capacity is vital in our own time, when leaders must often change course midstream — jettisoning earlier standards of success and redefining their purposes and plans.” In the movie The Martian, Matt Damon’s character Mark Whatney tells a class of astronauts “At some point, everything's gonna go south on you and you're going to say, this is it. This is how I end. Now you can either accept that, or you can get to work. That's all it is. You just begin. You do the math. You solve one problem... and you solve the next one... and then the next. And if you solve enough problems, you get to come home.” The spectrum of problem-solving approaches goes from the simplistic less is more approach to the non-conformist strategy. Knowing what strategy to use when attempting to solve a problem is an ongoing struggle for anyone navigating the chaos. Sometimes in life all you need in a band-aid to solve a problem as best-selling author Malcolm Gladwell wrote in The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference: “A critic looking at these tightly focused, targeted interventions might dismiss them as Band-Aid solutions. But that phrase should not be considered a term of disparagement. The Band-Aid is an inexpensive, convenient, and remarkably versatile solution to an astonishing array of problems. In their history, Band-Aids have probably allowed millions of people to keep working or playing tennis or cooking or walking when they would otherwise have had to stop. The Band-Aid solution is actually the best kind of solution because it involves solving a problem with the minimum amount of effort and time and cost.” Other times, however, the problem is so complex that a solution is required from outside of the norm, also known as outside-the box thinking. But such non-conformist thinking is rare and always has been. In 1859 English philosopher John Stuart Mill wrote: “In this age, the mere example of non-conformity, the mere refusal to bend the knee to custom, is itself a service. Precisely because the tyranny of opinion is such as to make eccentricity a reproach, it is desirable, in order to break through that tyranny, that people should be eccentric. Eccentricity has always abounded when and where strength of character has abounded; and the amount of eccentricity in a society has generally been proportional to the amount of genius, mental vigor, and moral courage which it contained. That so few now dare to be eccentric, marks the chief danger of the time.” Leverage your mind, body, and spirit to be non-conformist in your thinking as you search for a resolution to one problem after another. How often do you find yourself solving problems? How often do you keep going regardless of the obstacles you meet? When resolving problems what techniques do you use? Have you used the band-aid approach? How often are you comfortable being a non-conformist in your thinking? How often can you solve one problem after another until the issue is resolved? How often are you eccentric in your decision making? How often do you think about the ‘amount of genius, mental vigor, and moral courage associated with non-conformist’ decision-making?

  • How often are you waiting for a job to bring you happiness?

    Today is June 12 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often are you waiting for a job to bring you happiness?” Those who navigate the chaos understand the observation by Stephen Hall “You do have choices about how you spend your time. Balancing what you need to do with what you want to do can lead to happiness and success.” Moreover, those who navigate the chaos often try to balance work with their personal life and illustrate the belief by Zig Ziglar “that being successful means having a balance of success stories across the many areas of your life. You can't truly be considered successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles.” Today’s reflection provides you with an opportunity to consider how often you are choosing work as your sole source of happiness. In his February 24, 2019, article "Working is Making Americans Miserable" in The Atlantic Derek Thompson wrote "For the college-educated elite, work has morphed into a religious identity—promising transcendence and community but failing to deliver. Pew Research reported 95 percent of teens said ‘having a job or career they enjoy’ would be ‘extremely or very important’ to them as an adult. This ranked higher than any other priority, including ‘helping other people who are in need’ (81 percent) or getting married (47 percent). Finding meaning at work beats family and kindness as the top ambition of today’s young people.” Sadly, many people across the age spectrum are waiting for a job to bring them happiness. More so than love or family, a job, or more specifically one’s dream job or vocation, is the key to happiness. Actor, director, and producer Bryan Cranston felt differently however, and instead leveraged his mind, body, and spirit to toil away for decades before getting his break. After graduating with an associate degree in police science from Los Angeles Valley College in 1976 Cranston began his acting career in local and regional theaters. He had previously performed as a youth, but his show business parents had mixed feelings about their son being involved in the profession, so he did not continue until he graduated college. He started working regularly in the late 1980s, mostly doing minor roles and advertisements. He was an original cast member of the ABC soap opera Loving from 1983 to 1985. Throughout the 1990s he was a journeyman and worked in various roles and bit-parts. He played Tim Whatley, a "dentist to the stars" in a few episodes of Seinfeld - but no big breaks. At 43 years of age, married with a young daughter, and after 15 years of being a professional actor in commercials, bit parts and brief appearances he landed the role of hapless patriarch Hal in family sitcom Malcolm In The Middle in 1999. In a 1998 episode of The X-Files - written by one Vince Gilligan, Cranston played a racist redneck. When Gilligan was casting his own show almost a decade later about a meth-cooking chemistry teacher in Breaking Bad on upstart cable channel AMC, Cranston came to mind. Cranston's work on the series was met with widespread critical acclaim, winning him the Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series. In an interview with GQ Cranston said "My greatest achievement is that I've been working as an actor for 25 years. It is about finding joy in every opportunity to act. If getting the job is the only way to be happy, you'll eventually crash and burn." Cranston never considered quitting during all those years of bit parts and brief appearances because he found joy in every opportunity. Another option is to have more than one career. Some of the most successful people have two or more business cards. Unless your employment contract specifically forbids it, you can work in two spheres. As Kabir Sehgal wrote in "Why You Should Have (at Least) Two Careers,” Harvard Business Review April 25, 2017 “In my case, I have four vocations: I’m a corporate strategist at a Fortune 500 company, US Navy Reserve officer, author of several books, and record producer. The two questions that people ask me most frequently are “How much do you sleep?” and “How do you find time to do it all? (my answers: “plenty” and “I make the time”). Yet these process questions do not get to the heart of my reasons and motivations. Instead, a more revealing query would be, ‘Why do you have multiple careers?’ Quite simply, working many jobs makes me happier and leaves me more fulfilled. It also helps me perform better at each job.” How often are you finding joy in every opportunity? How often are you waiting for a job to bring you happiness? Do you believe a job is more important than love? Do you believe a job is more important than family? Have you ever thought about what might happen if you never get that dream job? How do you define a dream job? If you are waiting for a job to bring you happiness, why not launch another career on the side so you can start doing what you like to do? Even if your full-time job, first career, only provides you with a few hours to spend on your second career each week, isn’t that better than not spending any time at all on what you love to do?

  • How often do you find fault?

    Today is June 11 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you find fault?” Author Henry David Thoreau wrote “However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are richest. The faultfinder will find faults even in paradise. Love your life, poor as it is.” As you leverage your mind, body, and spirit to navigate the chaos and translate one dream after another into reality, consider spending time assessing your level of self-awareness when it comes to finding fault. There are plenty of external events, people, and even health issues that prevent us from navigating the chaos, if we let them. If we find fault, make excuses, or blame someone or something, it will be difficult to translate any dream into reality. When you nurture self-love you empower yourself to realize that there are indeed many people who had reasons to find fault yet they never let anything stand in their way of achieving their dream. Today’s reflection involves the backstory of a professional baseball player who had plenty of reasons to find fault; but he never did. Jameson Lee Taillon did not find fault as he traveled his path of navigating the chaos. Taillon is a Canadian American professional baseball pitcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates of Major League Baseball (MLB). Drafted by the Pirates as the second overall pick in the 2010 MLB draft, Jameson is a man of routines, most of them based on the notion that control creates results. One of them involves getting to the ballpark every day as early as possible. "That way," he says, "the chaos comes to me instead of me walking into the chaos." Taillon’s journey has been chaotic as he missed the 2014 season after Tommy John surgery and 2015 after hernia surgery. But in 2017 something happened in his life that illustrated how control has its limits and chaos has a mind of its own. On May 2, 2017, Taillon felt a lump on his left testicle. After tests confirmed testicular cancer, he needed surgery. Six days later, he underwent a one-hour surgery to remove his left testicle. Several days later, on May 7, 2017, he posted the following statement on his Twitter account: “When I was a kid, I spent countless numbers of hours dreaming of being a Major League Pitcher. Always determined (borderline obsessed) with working hard to make it, I never doubted myself. However, as a naïve little guy, I never realized that each person has a different path and journey along their way to accomplish their goals. Tommy John Surgery, Sports Hernia Surgery, a 105-mph line drive off of my hard head, and this most recent discovery are just a few of the stops along the way. They have all just added fuel to my burning fire and inspired me to become even better. I vowed to use every setback as an opportunity for growth. Today I lost a piece of my 'Manhood.' But today I am feeling like more of a man than I ever have. My journey has not been the smoothest. But it is my journey, and I wouldn't change it for anything. Thank you to my family, girlfriend, teammates, doctors, Pirates fans, and the entire Pirates organization for the support.” The Testicular Cancer Awareness Foundation states that exertion is off-limits for up to four weeks after surgery. In less than three weeks, Jameson was pitching in a minor league rehab game. As of 2019 he was cancer-free. Taillon would go on to play with the Pirates until 2019 when he was traded to the New York Yankees. On December 19, 2022, Taillon signed a four-year deal with the Chicago Cubs. Fellow professional baseball player and hall of famer Casey Stengel said “All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. Regardless of how much you blame him you will not succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.” How often do you feel as though your life is mean? How often do you shun life and call it hard names? How often do you find fault even in good times? How often do you love your life, even in times of despair? How often do you blame someone or something for your lot in life? If you do blame someone or something for your lot in life have you found that to be helpful in navigating the chaos? Do you really want to leverage your mind, body, and spirit to find fault with someone or something? How much time are you wasting by finding fault? If your journey is not the smoothest, can you still find a way to move forward like Taillon did? Can you still demonstrate an appreciation for those who supported you as you leverage your mind, body, and spirit to navigate the chaos? Has blaming someone or finding fault changed you for the better in any way or helped you translate your dreams into reality?

  • How often can you accept what makes you different?

    Today is June 10 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often can you accept what makes you different?” Instead of worrying about fitting in all the time, those who navigate the chaos accept what makes them different and figure out how to leverage their unique skills, traits, and habits. As poet Petra Poje wrote “Do not expect to be fully accepted if, firstly, you do not truly accept yourself, and, secondly, you are not truly accepting of others.” The more you accept the difference in others the greater the opportunity you give yourself to accept what makes you different. If, on the other hand, you do not accept what makes others different, it will most likely be difficult for you to accept what makes you different. A fictional example of how someone accepted what makes them different is the 1987 American comedy film Planes, Trains and Automobiles, written, produced and directed by John Hughes. The film stars Steve Martin as Neal Page, a high-struck ad executive and John Candy as Del Griffith, a shower curtain ring salesman. The two become travel companions when their flight is diverted and share a three-day odyssey of misadventures trying to get to Chicago in time for the executive's Thanksgiving Day dinner with his family. One scene in particular has Neal is yelling at Del. After a brief moment Del tells Neal “You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.” As a deaf player in the National Football League (NFL) Derrick Coleman is brave and accepts just how different he is. The first deaf player in NFL history was defensive tackle Bonnie Sloan, a 1973 member of the St. Louis Cardinals who thought he was fortunate not to hear his coach use foul language. The second was defensive end Kenny Walker, a Denver Broncos 1991 draft pick that used an interpreter. But Coleman was the third deaf NFL player and the first to work on the offensive side of the game. He had to contend with hearing his teammates during a play, dealing with changed plays at the line of scrimmage called audibles, and outright races to the line of scrimmage to snap the football. Throughout his six-year career playing in the NFL, Coleman played for the Seattle Seahawks, Atlanta Falcons, and Arizona Cardinals. He even won a Super Bowl with the Seahawks in 2014. When he was playing for the Seahawks Coleman would follow quarterback Russell Wilson to the huddle. As the quarterback told the team the play Coleman read his lips. If there was an audible under center, Coleman would wait for Wilson to turn around and mouth it to him loud and clear. If Wilson forgot to do that, Coleman would grab the quarterback’s face mask. That is his other survival skill: whatever it takes. It is simple, actually: You do not have to hear to be able to listen. You can read about Coleman's ability to navigate the chaos in his book No Excuses: Growing Up Deaf and Achieving My Super Bowl Dreams. In a 2014 commercial for Duracell, Coleman’s voiceover during the 60 second shot shows him growing up and dealing with one rejection after another where he says "They told me it couldn't be done; that I was a lost cause. I was picked on and picked last. Coaches didn't know how to talk to me. They gave up on me. Told me I should just quit. But I've been deaf since I was three so I didn't listen." Billionaire Sir Richard Branson had to accept what made him different as well. Branson battled dyslexia and figured out how to leverage his uniqueness to become an entrepreneur with an estimated net work over $4 billion. Branson dropped out of school at 16 and said his dyslexia was "treated as a handicap: my teachers thought I was lazy and dumb, and I couldn't keep up or fit in." Such misunderstanding of what made him different from others served as a catalyst. Branson noted “Whatever personal challenge you have to overcome, you must be brave enough to accept that you are different. You must have the courage to trust your instincts and be ready to question what other people do not. If you do that, you can seize opportunities that others would miss. Believe in yourself and use everything you can—including the obstacles—to propel you along the road to success. Who knows what you might achieve?” Branson’s observation echoed the words of comedian Lucille Ball who noted “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Actor Anne Crawford loved herself and celebrated her difference when she said “No, No and No. I am not desperate unlike what you think. I'm not like the madding crowd. I am a different breed of woman. The sort of woman who is unstoppable once she has set her mind onto something. I march to the beat of my own drum like a free-spirit, and I know exactly what I want out of life. So, get it out of your head honey.” How often do you love yourself so you can accept what makes you different? Are you comfortable marching to the beat of your own drum? How have you dealt with personal challenges throughout your life? How often have you held on to the belief you are different? How often do you exercise the ‘courage to trust your instincts?’ How often do you use life’s obstacles to propel you along the road to success? How often would you describe yourself as unstoppable? How often are you using what makes you different to seize opportunities others might have missed?

  • How often do you say 'yes' when you really wanted to say 'no'?

    Today is June 9 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you say ‘yes’ when you really wanted to say ‘no’?” As you leverage your mind, body, and spirit to translate one dream after another into reality, the one constant you will share with everyone else in the world is time. Everyone has the same amount of 24 hours in a given day. Unfortunately, many people develop bad habits, lack the required self-awareness, or say ‘yes’ when they wanted to say ‘no’ and often experience trouble navigating the chaos. To help people better understand what they say yes and no to author Jim Collins proposed the following exercise: “Suppose you woke up tomorrow and received two phone calls. The first phone call tells you that you have inherited $20 million, no strings attached. The second tells you that you have an incurable and terminal disease, and you have no more than 10 years to live. What would you do differently, and, in particular, what would you stop doing?” Which of the two phone calls resonates with you more? Why is that? What would you do differently the day after each phone call? What would you stop doing the day after each phone call? If you would stop doing something after either phone call why don’t you wake up tomorrow and stop doing it (assuming you do not get either phone call today!)? Today’s reflection involves the backstory of someone who did say ‘no’ when he wanted to and in so doing changed the course of his life. Wallace Stevens was a Pulitzer Prize winning poet who had an entire career outside of his writing. The son of a successful lawyer, Stevens graduated Harvard University. He briefly worked as a journalist in New York City before attending New York Law School and graduating in 1903. After working for several law firms in New York from 1904-1907 the American Bonding Company hired Stevens in 1908. After his brief career in law, Stevens joined the home office of The Hartford Accident and Indemnity Company in 1914. By 1934, he had been named vice president of the company. It was during this time that he engaged in subtle maneuvers and started to write poetry at nights and on weekends. Stevens published his first book at 44 years of age. Harmonium was published in 1923 in an edition of 1500 copies. The collection comprises 85 poems, ranging in length from just a few lines ("Life Is Motion") to several hundred ("The Comedian as the Letter C"). He would go on to produce additional works throughout the 1920s and into the 1940s. He won the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry for his Collected Poems in 1955. After he won the Pulitzer Prize in 1955, he was offered a faculty position at Harvard but declined since it would have required him to give up his vice presidency of The Hartford. He said ‘no’ to Harvard. Imagine that! He said ‘no’ to Harvard because saying ‘yes’ would have been untrue to himself. By engaging in subtle maneuvers and writing poetry while working in the insurance industry Stevens is often described as one of America's most respected poets. He was a master stylist, employing an extraordinary vocabulary and a rigorous precision in crafting his poems. But he was also a philosopher of aesthetics, vigorously exploring the notion of poetry as the supreme fusion of the creative imagination and objective reality. Noted literary critic Harold Bloom, called Stevens "the best and most representative American poet of our time.” Best-selling author and Harvard Negotiation Project co-founder William Ury (2016) recalled a breakfast conversation with financial magnate Warren Buffett. Buffett remarked, “I don’t understand all this ‘Yes' stuff. In my line of business, the most important word is ‘No.' I sit there all day and look at investment proposals and say ‘No, No, No, No, No’—until I see exactly what I am looking for. Then I say ‘Yes.’ All I have to do is say ‘Yes’ a few times in my life and I’ve made my fortune.” Buffet’s decision-making paradigm around ‘no’ offers a simple reminder for today’s reflection. When people ask you to do something, think of the task as an investment proposal Buffet is considering. Would he invest? Should you invest your time? If no, say so and move on. Implementing such an approach, of course, if far easier said then done. As F. Diane Barth wrote in Psychology Today: “Many of us are afraid of conflict. We do not like others to be angry with us or critical of us. We therefore avoid saying ‘no’ when we are afraid that it will put us into conflict with someone else, whether that someone is an intimate partner, a colleague or friend, or a supervisor or boss. Many of us also try to avoid battles with our children, because we feel that if we say ‘no’ to them, they will stop loving us.” How often do you say ‘yes’ when you really wanted to say ‘no’? How often do you remind yourself you are afraid of conflict? How often are you worried that other will be critical of you? How often do you avoid saying ‘yes’ in order to keep the peace even though you wanted to say ‘no?’ How often do you find yourself saying ‘no’ to someone because you are afraid that if you said ‘yes’ they would stop loving you?

  • How often do you work on your passion project?

    Today is June 8 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you work on your passion project?” By definition, a passion project is something that takes you a long-time, 10 or more years, to complete. Many who navigate the chaos and practice the art of living well often stumble upon their passion project while working on something else. Having a project was actually the best career advice best-selling author Malcolm Gladwell ever received. In a May 22, 2021, interview Gladwell said, “A friend once gave me what I now consider the best piece of career advice – ‘Always have a project.’ And what he meant was, don't let your job dictate 100% of what you do. Always have something that you're pursuing for your own reasons, that satisfies you in a different way, that you're the boss of, and that you have control over. If your job doesn't allow for that, then you need to go off and do something on the side. You're often a better judge of what is the best and most productive use of your time than your manager or superior.” Today’s reflection focuses on two types of passion projects: one centered around art and the other a social cause. Examples of artists who spent many years working on their project include French poet, novelist, and dramatist of the Romantic movement Victor Hugo who began planning a major novel about social misery and injustice as early as the 1830s, but a full 17 years were needed for Les Misérables to be realized and finally published in 1862. Additionally, Jonathan Larson lived in poverty, waited tables, and worked seven years to bring his rock opera Rent to the stage. Author J.R.R. Tolkien took seven years to write The Hobbit and 16 years to write the sequel The Lord of the Rings. More recently, Julie K. Anderson a sculptural ceramic artist and founding director of Warehome Studios, an educational space for ceramics and kiln-formed glass in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, provided the following advice for artists and passion projects. “Having multiple sources of income other than just selling your artwork is very important when you are first starting off and possibly throughout your career as an artist. A diversified stream of income has allowed me to experiment and make the work I truly want to make, rather than just making work that I know will sell. I learned that trying to please everyone with the type of art I make is a recipe for making pieces that are not so great. It also made me hate making art; I was bored by it. Create the work that you truly love and the right buyers will come along eventually. This way, you can stay your own personal creative path, but in the meantime, you can feed yourself and keep a roof over your head with your alternate source of income.” Leveraging multiple revenue streams allows you to maintain your life while you pursue your passion project over an extended period of time. Another type of passion project in the form of a social cause is exemplified by actor Tippi Hedren. Hedren revolutionized an entire industry and in so doing empowered a group of Americans looking for a way to thrive in their newly adopted country. Director Alfred Hitchcock discovered Hedren while watching her in a television commercial in 1961. Hedren received world recognition for her work in two of his films, the suspense-thriller The Birds in 1963, for which she won a Golden Globe and the psychological drama Marnie in 1964. When she was not onscreen, Hedren was an international relief coordinator with the organization Food for the Hungry. After Saigon fell, she was working with Vietnamese women in a refugee camp near Sacramento when several women admired her long, glossy nails. Hedren had a manicurist named Dusty at the time and asked her if she would come to the camp to meet with the women. Dusty agreed, and Hedren flew her up to Camp Hope every weekend to teach nail technology to 20 eager women. Hedren also flew in seamstresses and typists all in the name of helping “find vocations for the Vietnamese women.” Hedren also recruited a local beauty school to help teach the women. When they graduated, Hedren helped get the women jobs all over Southern California. Those 20 women—mainly the wives of high-ranking military officers and at least one woman who worked in military intelligence—went on to transform the industry, which is now worth about $8 billion and is dominated by Vietnamese Americans. Hedren's work with the Vietnamese Americans was the subject of Happy Hands, directed by Honey Lauren, which won Best Documentary Short at the Sonoma International Film Festival in 2014. What are you doing little by little each day that can help you or someone else many years in the future? Do you have a passion project? If not, would you like to start one? Do you have the endurance to work on it for over 10 to 20 years or more? Can you return to your passion project while completing other work? Could you work on your passion project for a longtime without the promise of any financial reward and, instead, view it as a means of leveraging your mind, body, and soul? Who or what is stopping you from pursuing a passion project? How often are you letting your job interfere with your ability to start or continue a passion project?

  • How often do you experience an existential crisis?

    Today is June 7 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you experience an existential crisis?” In 1844, Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard wrote: “Whoever has learnt to be anxious in the right way, has learnt the ultimate.” During your journey of navigating the chaos it is common to experience anxiety, question life, or experience an existential crisis. The human experience is complex, dynamic, and sophisticated. Anxiety is merely one emotion most people feel at one time or another. While other questions in this Navigate the Chaos series focus on those larger life questions today’s post gives us an opportunity to reflect upon how often we experience an existential crisis and engage in the necessary work to process our thinking during one. It is normal to experience an existential crisis from time to time, especially after a life event such as the death of a loved one, the diagnosis of a serious health issue, or a significant birthday. Sarb Johal, a clinical psychologist who has worked with the New Zealand and UK governments, as well as the World Health Organization noted that existential crises are “often viewed as a journey, a necessary experience, or a complex phenomenon, an existential crisis stems from the self-awareness that your life will end one day and that mystery, unfamiliarity, and discomfort have replaced any sense of perceived normalcy.” Assessing the impact of an existential crisis, Katherine King observed “Trying not to ignore it or hurry through it as doing so will only compound the pain next time around. Only after we’ve slowed down and patiently let ourselves feel our emotions and make space for new perspectives can we begin the process of getting back on track.” When people process their existential crisis they leverage their mind, body, and spirit on what makes their lives fulfilling. To process an existential crisis, it is important to find meaning. As Clay Routledge observed “meaning reduces existential anxiety and helps someone feel like they’re part of something larger and longer-lasting than their brief, mortal lives.” Therein lies the impact of the pandemic; it allowed people around the world to slow down and reassess their life situation. Noting the transformational power of an existential crisis, King wrote “Existential crises can be painful in the moment, but in the long run they can offer wisdom, hope, and profound positive transformation. By being patient, curious, and willing to take action, we can carry ourselves safely through to a better and more meaningful tomorrow.” In this way, an existential crisis might move you towards greater authenticity, which may also bring anxiety as you struggle for meaning. Now that the familiarity of your life has been stripped bare, what is your life really about? You might have thoughts about the fleetingness of your existence and how you are living it. When you stop taking for granted that you will wake up each day alive, you might experience anxiety, but at the same time deeper meaning too. These are actually two sides of the same coin. Because of this, each of us must find a way to “live with” this anxiety rather than try to eliminate it. Experiencing an existential crisis can also be positive; it can guide you to question your purpose in life and help provide direction. The Cleveland Clinic suggested the following six steps to help you process the thinking and anxiety associated with an existential crisis: Adjust your viewpoint – View the crisis as an opportunity to make changes that will add to your happiness instead of an experience to dread. Keep a gratitude journal - Writing down the things you enjoy and find meaningful can help you identify what you want to change. Connect with people - Reestablishing connections with friends and family can help you feel more grounded. Practice mindfulness – Give yourself time to enjoy those activities that bring you peace and quiet in order to calm your mind. Redirect your energy – Use your time wisely and create a better sense of equanimity between work and life. Don’t dwell on the past – Since no one is going back in time, only look forward and place your vision, energy, and time there so you can create the life you want. How often have you experienced an existential crisis? Have you given yourself permission to engage in the thinking required to process an existential crisis? How has engaging in an existential crisis impacted your ability to navigate the chaos of life and translate one dream after another into reality? How often do you give yourself permission to consider new perspectives that might emerge from your processing of an existential crisis? How comfortable are you with any pain that might arise from processing the existential crisis? How often are you committed to creating a more meaningful tomorrow? How many of the six steps do you engage in to help yourself process an existential crisis?

  • How often do you allow experience to triumph over theory?

    Today is June 6 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you allow experience to triumph over theory?” Today’s reflection centers around two complimentary observations. First “In theory, there is no difference between practice and theory. In practice, there is.” Second “Experience is the best teacher." Both statements have been referred to throughout history. For example, Roman leader Julius Caesar recorded the earliest known version of 'Experience is the teacher of all things,' in 'De Bello Civili' (c. 52 B.C.) while over a century later, the Roman author Pliny the Elder in 'Naturalis Historia' (A.D. 77) wrote, 'Experience is the most efficient teacher of all things.' Today’s reflection serves as a reminder that to leverage your mind, body, and spirit, be sure to allow experience to triumph over theory. Theory is indeed important, and has its place in the universe, but when it comes to translating one dream after another into reality, today’s strategy suggests experience is far more effective. The Beatles serve as a reference for this post. With certified sales of over 183 million units in the US and estimated sales of 600 million units worldwide they hold the record for most number-one albums on the UK Albums Chart, most number-one hits on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, and most singles sold in the UK. The group was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1988, and all four main members were inducted individually between 1994 and 2015. In 2008, the group topped Billboard's list of the all-time most successful artists on the Billboard Hot 100. The band received seven Grammy Awards, four Brit Awards, an Academy Award (for Best Original Song Score for the 1970 film Let It Be) and fifteen Ivor Novello Awards. Time magazine named them among the 20th century's 100 most important people. Without question, The Beatles are one of the most influential, popular, and easily recognizable musical groups in modern history. And not one of them could read or write music. Go ahead, you can reread that. Not one of the Beatles could read or write music. As incredible as it may seem, “The Fab Four” managed to mesmerize the entire world without this one ability so often touted as ‘mandatory’ for musicians. In a 1980 interview with Playboy magazine, John Lennon said, “None of us could read music… None of us can write it. But as pure musicians, as inspired humans to make the noise, they [Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr] are as good as anybody.” In 2018 legendary musician Paul McCartney sat down with 60 Minutes correspondent Sharyn Alfonsi for an in-depth chat about his new album, Egypt Station, and he revealed something rather contradictory: he is unable to read or write music, and neither could any of his Beatles bandmates. Despite his songwriting success, the 76-year-old admitted he was embarrassed about the fact that he does not understand music theory. “I don’t see music as dots on a page,” McCartney said, “It’s something in my head that goes on.” How does one of the world’s most beloved and respected musicians get to the summit without knowing how to read or write music? McCartney said that while it would be nice to be able to, the music just came to him and his bandmates John Lennon, Ringo Starr, and George Harrison. Following that 60 Minutes interview one person tweeted “I once had a choir leader tell me it was not possible for me to write songs if I couldn’t write or read music notation (I’ve been doing it for 30 years.) I responded ’Are you familiar with The Beatles?’” So how did the Beatles get so good without the ability to read or write music? By practicing for thousands of hours in front of crowds. In the early 1960s the Beatles travelled to Hamburg, Germany five times over the space of two years. On their first trip, they played 106 nights, five or more hours a night. On their second trip, they played 92 times. The third trip, they played 48 times for a total of 172 hours on stage. The last two trips involved another 90 hours of performing. When you add up their Hamburg tours the Beatles performed 270 nights in just over a year and a half. By the time they finally burst to success in 1964, they had performed live….wait for it… an estimated twelve hundred times! Most professional musicians today are lucky if they perform over 400 times in their life; the Beatles performed three times as many prior to their stardom! John Lennon, in an interview talking about his experiences playing the Hamburg strip clubs, said: “We got better and got more confidence. We could not help it with all the experience playing all night long. We had to try even harder, put our heart and soul it in.…In Liverpool, we’d only ever done one-hour sessions, and we just used to do our best numbers, the same ones, at everyone. In Hamburg, we had to play for eight hours, so we really had to find a new way of playing.” How often do you reflect upon the difference between theory and experience? How often do you study theory at the expense of experience? How often do you reflect upon your experiences and the lessons you can learn from each one? Do you have anyone in your life that can help you process your experiences? Do you help anyone process their life experiences? Some observers have stated that if you do not understand theory you cannot be a true artist. Do you believe that? If so, why? How often do you intentionally put yourself in certain experiences with the specific purpose of learning from them and then applying those lessons to help you navigate the chaos?

  • How often do you reflect upon what keeps you going?

    Today is June 5 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you reflect upon what keeps you going?” Successful people who navigate the chaos understand what keeps them going through the trials and tribulations involved with translating their dreams into reality. The child of pastors in Santa Barbara, California, Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson, known by her stage name of Katy Perry, was not allowed to watch MTV, VH1, or listen to any rock or popular music. She loved to sing and play guitar, and even dropped out of high school to pursue music. During the early stages of her career, Perry's musical style gravitated towards gospel. In 1999, at the age of 15, she moved to Nashville, signed to Christian music label Red Hill, and released first album. Two years later she completed her GED, left for Los Angeles, and worked on an album for Island Records but later got dropped. For five straight years Katy had to sell her clothes just to make rent, wrote bad checks and borrowed money left and right. In 2003, she was signed to Def Jam but the contract was terminated shortly thereafter. In 2004 she was signed to Columbia Records as a lead vocalist in the band Matrix, but the project was shelved before completion. At the age of 23 she signed with Capitol Music Group and one year later released her breakthrough hit “I Kissed a Girl” on May 6, 2008. She followed up that hit with “Teenage Dream” in July 2010 and was nominated for the Grammy Award for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, becoming Perry's third nomination in the category. Perry has received various awards, including four Guinness World Records, five Billboard Music Awards, five American Music Awards, a Brit Award, and a Juno Award. In an April 2017 Vogue interview, Perry said “I had so much ambition and determination and that’s what kept me going” through her false starts, cancelled recording deals and ten years of working through the music scene to break through. Professional baseball player Hank Aaron also used his determination to keep him going. For baseball players like Aaron a lack of hitting over an extended period of time is called a slump. Aaron’s motto was “always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging.” Aaron used that ‘keep swinging’ approach from childhood all throughout his life. Aaron grew up in a poor family that could not afford baseball equipment, so he practiced by hitting bottle caps with sticks. He would create his own bats and balls out of materials he found on the streets. His high school did not offer organized baseball, so he played outfield and third base for the Mobile Black Bears. At age 15 Aaron had his first tryout with an MLB franchise, the Brooklyn Dodgers but failed to make the team. Two years later baseball scout Ed Scott signed Aaron to a minor league contract to play for the Indianapolis Clowns of the Negro American League. His success with the Clowns generated offers from the New York Giants and the Boston Braves. He accepted the Braves offer since they were going to pay him $50 more a month. Facing racism during his early playing days for the Clowns and even for the Braves, Aaron’s keep swinging approach allowed him to pursue his dream of playing professional baseball amidst such overt racism. He would eventually play over 23 seasons in professional baseball. He played 21 seasons for the Milwaukee/Atlanta Braves and 2 seasons for the Milwaukee Brewers. Aaron held the MLB record for career home runs for 33 years, and he still holds several MLB offensive records.In 1999, The Sporting News ranked Aaron fifth on its "100 Greatest Baseball Players" list. Aaron’s “keep swinging” approach was an effective strategy for getting himself out of slumps. For actor Jean Smart, however, she kept going for entirely different reasons. Smart was married to Richard Gilliland for 34 years. In March 2020, with a week’s left of filming to do for her new HBO series Hacks, Gilliland died after a short illness. What kept Smart going during such a tragic time? As she told NPR “When Richard passed, I had to finish the show. I had a week's left - a week's worth of work left to shoot. And that was very, very scary and distressing, but I had to. I mean, we had to finish the show. And I - being the lead of the show, I mean, I feel a huge responsibility, you know, for the success of the show. And I feel a responsibility to the crew and the cast and - but they could not have been more accommodating and more wonderful to me.” While Smart kept going after her husband’s death, so too did Virginia Oliver who is still going after nine decades of lobstering. At 101-years of age “Ginny” Oliver is still lobstering with her 78-year-old son Max. The mother and son have been working together three days a week ever since Ginny’s husband died over 15 years ago. Born on June 1920 in Claredon Street in Rockland, Maine, Ginny, as her friends call her, reflected upon her ability to keep going in a 2022 interview and said “You just have to keep going; otherwise, you would be in a wheelchair or something. You wouldn’t be able to move if you didn’t keep moving.” How often do you reflect upon what keeps you going?’ Do you have enough ambition to keep you going until you translate your next dream into reality? What keeps you going? Is there someone in your life that helps you keep going? Are you inspiring someone in your life to keep going as they work on translating one dream after another into reality? Are you using age as an excuse to stop moving? If so, why do you think that is?

  • How often do you reflect upon the five most common regrets of the dying?

    Today is June 4 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you reflect upon the five most common regrets of the dying?” Few people like to contemplate their demise but those who navigate the chaos often recall the words of entrepreneur and Apple co-founder Steve Jobs who said: “Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.” Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies first in a blog that received a good deal of attention and then published her posts in a 2012 book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again." Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware: I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. I wish I had not worked so hard. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. I wish that I had let myself be happier. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends The most common regret was "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." According to Ware “this was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made." The second most common regret was "I wish I hadn't worked so hard." According to Ware "this came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence." Are you aware of the five most common regrets of the dying? And what are you doing to ensure that you have no regrets at the time of your death? "This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again." Academic research compliments Ware’s findings from her experience. A Harvard study followed 268 undergraduates from the classes of 1938-1940 for 75 years, regularly collecting data on various aspects of their lives. The findings were reported in a 2012 book by the Harvard psychiatrist George Vaillant entitled Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study. According to the research a happy and meaningful life consists of the following five elements: loving relationships money and power are small parts of a fulfilling life; they correlate poorly with happiness we can become happier in life as we proceed through it, despite how we started our lives connection with others and work is essential for joy; and this seems to be increasingly true as one ages coping well with challenges makes you happier What is most interesting from the observations by Ware and findings by Vaillant is the ability of the individual to impact the direction of their life. If nothing else, understanding the five regrets of the dying, and the five elements of a meaningful life, reminds us of what is most important as we travel the path of navigating the chaos. As you go about your day, reflect upon how often you remind yourself of the five regrets of the dying. How often do you remind yourself to have the courage to live a life true to yourself, not the life others expect of you? How often do you remind yourself to not work so hard? How often do you express your feelings? How often do you remind yourself to be happier? How often do you stay in touch with your friends?

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